havnt had internet access for over a month so venting has been incredibly difficult and distractions are minimal.
i literally had to chain my hands to my bed like a cuff so i wouldnt SI. felt ok for a while but the moment the chain came off i couldnt hold it in. i ended up sleeping chained to my bed.
pathetic or what?

anyways i am currently feeling like %#@&#!. every nice word feels like a slap i the face and a punch in the guts. everything feels fake.

i hate them all.
everything

nothings the way they try and tell me it is

filthy lies

sick of it