i wish she would snap at me. i wish she would make me feel like crap. i wish she would just yell at me and tell me everything bad about me so i can just curl up in a ball and savor it all. god. and add to that 20 minutes of sitting completely still because i just don't care enough to move. and the only reason i did move is so no one would notice and ask me. i realize tons of people have it worse than me. i realize this means nothing. i realize this is stupid and pointless and worthless and probably petty. i realize this is nothing compared to other people's *****. i realize this is selfish. i also realize that i can't do anything about that. i also realize i'm extremely stupid for posting this. but i don't care. i really don't.