Both of my children have been diagnosed and I often feel guilty. I also feel a tremendous sadness knowing now difficult their lives are going to be because of it.

A lot of my guilt is because of how they grew up with my BP. I spent a lot of time depressed and was not a great Mom during those times. They also had to live with the fallout of my rash decisions. When they were younger I was very unstable and dragged them through some painful stuff.

There is no point to feeling guilty though. It does none of us any good. In fact, it does us all harm. I have to remind myself that I was doing what I could at the time, given the resources I had.

All I can do for my children is to be there and to understand them. I try my best to, but there BP is different from mine so I do my best. It's tempting for me to think that what's worked for me will work for them. I'm on meds and would like to see them try it as well, but neither one wants that. So I have to accept their decisions and just be as supportive as I can. I do keep telling them: "You don't have to live this way'"

It also gives us more insight into what our loved ones go through with us. Now WE are the loved ones watching our BP person go through it. It sucks, but I think we can be there for them in a way that a non-BP parent could.

So I think it has it's positives and negatives like everything does, but one thing is for sure. We are no more to blame for passing BP on to our children than any other parent is for passing on Down's or any other genetic issue.

Lisa