Well, if you were diagnosed with social anxiety when you were young, your parents should have read up on it and learned how to help you. It should have also been discussed with your teachers so they could also be supportive with you. It is not having that challenge that is the problem, it is taking steps to help the child so the child can slowly learn how to over come it. Also, your mother should not be using you or going through you to express anger etc. with your father. You are the child and are not responsible for "her" issues with your father.

I do think it is good that you moved and got away from the individuals that were bullying you. It's lesson to learn that with bullies, the best thing to do is walk away from them "if" a person can.

I can understand "why" you would relate to some ptsd symptoms, after all ptsd is also an anxiety disorder, and it can make it hard to get along with others because of the anxiety that can be quite crippling too.

I think you can learn skills in how to manage your symptoms. Have you looked up social anxiety as well as perhaps finding some ways to help manage it?

I am sorry that your parents are not very supportive and that has left you feeling you just need to not talk about it. I have been challenged that way myself, even been treated badly for genuinely struggling with something that is "not my fault". When that happens, one has to find support outside the family unit. You are lucky in that you have the internet to help you with that, often many did not have that option and just struggled alone. With the internet you can find others that can relate and can even share the things they have learned that has helped them manage it better.

It's important to remember Nike007, there is no such thing as "perfect" therefore you will never come across another person who is perfect, we all have our faults. There is a lot things you can learn and read about on the net, even here at PC too. You are not alone in having challenges, there are many people that do. So do your best to read and learn and find support and PC is actually a nice place to meet others, many who struggle and are supportive. Then when you get older as you say you don't want your parents to know, you can work on finding a good therapist that can help you too.

((Caring Hugs))
OE