Sorry for the double post but I had something I wanted to add onto the original post. This isn't the only problem I have and I struggle with anxiety. Some amateur online research makes me think I might have an anxiety disorder (namely OCD, but obviously I'm not sure). I've thought about seeing a professional to help me deal with the problems I outlined already and some other things that stress me out and make me anxious. I was just wondering if anyone had any experience in this regard, not with my exact issue per se but something similar?

As I said earlier, while I'm far from perfect, I think I'm a decent person and want to believe that I can help, that I deserve to be helped but I'm kind of worried about what I'll find out if I go to see somebody. It's one thing to post here and another to sit across from another human being and let the words actually come out of my mouth. My biggest fear is that I'll be told "you're screwed in the head and there's no helping you." or something of that nature. As always, I'd be very greatful for any advice that anyone has to offer. Thank you.