I'm sorry you are hurting, Sabau.

One thing you have learned from this is the proof of an old saying -- don't count your chicks before they hatch. I know that is cold comfort right now, but you may find this learning serves you well some time in the future.

I hope things work out anyway and are better than you think right now. You ARE strong and you WILL get through this.

Hugs and hugs and hugs and hugs.