She is allowed to say all of those things, and want all of those things in the moment she says them--- and then, later on, change her mind. Just because a woman gives you a green light for a period of time doesn't mean she "owes" you a green light in the future. People change their minds about relationships, especially early on while they are still getting to know you. The second she changes her mind and changes her boundaries, she is giving you a red light and you need to stop. You're entitled to feel hurt, but you are not entitled to keep contacting her.

Actually, as you describe the situation, everything you say IS about YOU. You try to say "I love her"-- but if you actually did love her, you would respect her boundaries. You would not keep contacting her, trying to diagnose her, trying to get her to change her feelings & her mind, etc. You are talking about what you want and how you can "strategize" to try and "break through" to her to get what you want from her. You want her to want what you want (a relationship), but that is not what she wants. What she wants is for you to leave her alone and move on. Trying to read up on avoidant attachment disorder is you trying to diagnose her, change her, and break through to her. That is the opposite of caring about her and respecting what she wants. It's also useleaa information for you because it doesn't address YOU, and why YOU are acting the way you did. You aren't in love with this woman. You are in love with the idea of being in love-- it's called limerance. And, you have issues with entitlement and stalking. Work on those, not on trying to diagnose this woman.