Does she know about your feelings for her? I would think, if so, she would see you more often unless there's a financial reason your sessions are every 3-4 weeks. If she doesn't know, you definitely need to tell her.

I think the attachment and transference will get easier to bear with time. My most painful moments were when I really didn't understand it all and I was still grieving for what my mom didn't give me. Have you figured out why you have the feelings? What they are about?

I have told my T. many times I wish we could be friends and that I get jealous thinking of her out with others (esp since we live in a small town). She's pointed out several things. Instead of focusing on what I don't have, focus on what I do have. I have more intense 1-1 time with her than most others. We have a relationship that isn't like her friends. She also once told me when she goes out with others or talks to other people, they start to tell her their problems wanting advice. Sometimes she gives it and other times she doesn't because (in a way) that shouldn't be her role with them. I guess it would get old if everyone asked you advice all the time even when not with your clients. I also had a T. once tell me that they think about their clients more than their friends - it's a whole different relationship. Hope that helps.

unfortunately, I think the only way through your pain is to feel it, grieve what you aren't getting from her that you wish you had and try to talk to her about it. If you can't talk to her right now, then right about it so you release some of the feelings. I really know how deep and dark the hole is. Over time it will get more shallow although you'll still fall into it and have to climb out again. I'm standing on the edge right now but know I could slip into it again anytime. It is one of the most painful and difficult experiences I have ever been through.