Hey, genderqueer myself, and still a virgin.
Personally, my exploration outlets have been a combination of reading erotic fanfiction to see what I like, talking to my friends (who are/have a variety of genders and sexualities and kinks), watching porn and masturbating. I don't think there's any one simple book, but I'm a virgin, so I'm probably not the best person to ask, especially since I feel sexually awkward, like I'd only really want to have sex if I was roleplaying, since I would be somebody else. But, since I'm more aware of my libido now and the things I'm into, I feel like it helped at least a little bit.
Does that help at all? ^^;

-CW