Does anyone ever experience a crushing feeling of loneliness?

There are so many people in my friends list on social media and contacts list in my phone, but I can reach out to precious few of them. I feel so extremely alone, especially on my hour long bus rides to and from school. There are so many people around, but I feel completely alienated from them.

I used to like getting to know people and having them open up to me; since then something has changed and I feel absolutely no interest in getting to know people. I don't care to get to know them.

I'm feeling really isolated and yet I have no desire to reach out to anyone. The feeling is a combination of can't and don't want to. The longer isolation goes on, the harder it becomes to reach out.

Sometimes I want to cry, but I can't because I've dammed up all the feelings. I try to repress all feelings, but they come breaking through. I'm good at repressing happy feelings though. I do not trust happy feelings, not to mention the disappointment and discouragement when they're gone is not worth it. I'd rather operate on a stable, if negative, plane rather than swings. However, I'm not feeling good.

I'm not feeling good. I'm not feeling well.