You know, this really can be a "dance"...some with easier steps...some with more difficult steps to try to follow.

I think alot of the posting here is spot on in the realm that disagreement is fine, saying what you think/feel is fine, but showing it in a supportive nature is key and can be a difficult dance if we're strongly opposed.

I don't know that there are good, across the board, answers for this as each situation is individual.

I do know that, when I strongly disagree with a member and they're asking for feedback, I try to talk about my experience and what I'd done in similar circumstances or feel I would do in same situation. I think doing this makes it feel less "finger pointing" or "do as I say" in response. It feels less like I'm "preaching" or giving instruction and more than I'm thinking and sharing.

For instance, if someone were to ask about, I don't know, doing something illegal (because it's not up to me to judge anyhow). I wouldn't want to appear as lecturing, but more state my disagreement and concern with, "My concern would be the outcome there. What would it do to myself and those in my life?" That doesn't "feel" lecturing...just shows my thought processes and care put into them, and gives food for thought. It also shows the true me because I do relate alot with others when I show support.

When we comment in disagreement, it's taken much better if we relate and use "I statements" or examples with outcome because it shows that we've really thought, aren't accusing, and are showing true sympathy to the member's concerns.

I'm just sharing my "delivery" in these times. I'm aware that everyone has their own and another important key to that is member's knowing each other...knowing their responses... It takes time sometimes.

KD