I am sorry you are going through this. It's very difficult to
live with someone that way. Although, I do not agree with
you saying: I wish ill will upon her!

I have been hurt so many times, that I use to say the same,
but then I realized,that people always get paid back for
wishing someone bad things to happen to them. I know
its very hard not to express that, but I really believe,What
goes around ,comes around. If not in this lifetime,maybe
another.

Wishing you the best,