Isn't it amazing how much emotion we put forth in regards to our Ts... but what about us?

If I took even a fraction of the need and the strong feelings that I have for T and maybe internalized that for myself a bit, I'd probably be in a better situation.

Like you Mouse, I feel like I'm in that child-mode-- T, I need you, take care of me. Like a baby, I feel like he is fulfilling my needs-- I'm not doing anything myself. But in actually, our Ts are only fulfilling our needs once or twice per week. How do we make it through the rest of the time? Surely we must be internalizing even the smallest amount and using it for ourselves. Not like a baby-- a baby can't make it through the rest of the week without a mother's care. We can. It feels like hell sometimes, so we might not be making it through in the most ideal way, and we still might neglect and mistreat ourselves way more than we should be-- but something is still pulling us through.