Sounds like you're actually halfway to recovery. I tend to disassociate badly, and it's not until my brain fights its way through the disassociation that suddenly all my pent up rage come roaring through the surface. It sounds like you are already embracing your emotions as they come and trying to deal with them head-on, which to me shows that you have some impressive psychological oomph going on, at least more impressive than my brain has so far most of the time. Now would be a great time for you to get into DBT/CBT therapy and start tackling your emotions head-on, while they are surfacing on a regular basis and you have self-awareness of the trends in your meltdowns. Remember that you have already been strong enough to do on your own what a lot of people (like myself) still need specialized help with. That's really impressive to someone like me. You're like, right on the brink of facing and tackling this stuff.