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The medication is for pain, not for having "some"feeling. You can rationalize this all you want but you are not taking it as prescribed. Taking the two together? You're not stupid you knew the feeling they would give you and that's what you were looking for.
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Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann
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