I think that is a common place the mind will wander at times. I visit there there sometimes.

What do I do? I float, I stop over thinking, I stop trying so hard to swim upstream when the current is too swift and I am exhausted. I float and rebuild my strength.. then I swim again.

Bipolar or not everyone struggles and winds up questioning there life... It's a by product of being a human being.

I hope your feeling better soon