Would it help to imagine yourself at your most vulnerable, maybe as a child, and practice feeling compassion and protection toward yourself in that state.

I got that exercise from a book called The Tools. The authors used the term 'shadow'. Your shadow is the part of you that you want to keep hidden from others. They thought it was important to come up with a specific image of yourself at your worst or most vulnerable. Then you practice picturing that version of you beside you/with you and you cultivate compassion, love and understanding for your shadow. Then the real you kind of becomes a protector of that vulnerable self inside you, kind of like a big sister. It has helped me some. It feels like a weight lifted sometimes. If I can love myself and feel worth in myself at my worst and most ashamed then it can feel like I have nothing to lose.

I'm also shy. I think you are lovely by the way and deserving. I hope it is ok to say that I hope it doesn't trigger you.