I wonder this sometimes. Is it really depression or is it just a sane response to an insane world. You can't convince me this world is sane. Its not, and this is why I hide.

A woman approached me a couple of weeks ago while at church. I try to avoid everyone there. I go only because of the children who want to go because they've friends there. This woman, she knows I am going through an extra rough time because my husband is away for a long term work assignment and he is my absolute best friend and I can't breath if he is not here. Talking to him by instant message each day or by phone or by skype just doesn't do it for me and my blood rages that I can't be near him, smell him, feel his body heat, enjoy his moment to moment companionship. I can't do long distance relationships. Even this forum is so removed, blind, cold, no matter the sweet words and "hugs" people give. They aren't the real thing because eyes and faces are missing, smiles are missing, compassionate eyes are missing.

So, this woman comes up to me, this perky woman and she tells me I am welcome to go to her house, bring the kids, get to know each other, because my husband is gone. I mostly just looked at her while I raged inside. But I smiled and thanked her and told her I would consider her offer. But she doesn't really know what she is doing. I know that she doesn't really want me in her midst because I have too many uncomfortable things to say. I am not interested in dainty little get-togethers with dainty little talk and dainty little smiles.