It is very sad that you are feeling so low.This is a rough patch but hold on and make way for better days.
It is true that ultimately the help has to come from your own heart,the t can only show you the way.Please try and take ONE baby step today--decide which small change you are going to make in your routine which will soothe your mind.One small initiative from your side.You can do it I am sure.Slowly move out of this trough.

Am I being preachy?I hope not.I see it with my hubs-no amount of counseling has a lasting effect.What he tries to better his condition is the only thing which works.

You will get over this mood.please be patient and hopeful.