Dear flockpride,

I understand how you feel. Rather than give you advice or try to tell you what's going on inside your head (which I'm not able to do), I'd like to share some personal experiences:

I see myself as a person of different ages, sometimes younger, sometimes older. Somedays I feel like I'm 40, somedays I feel like I'm 14. Sometimes it changes by the hour.

For whatever reason, I never feel like I am me--the person I see in the mirror. I think that's what causes the issues with time, for me. It's what keeps me from having or identifying with that personal narrative (that you mentioned) that seems to be so important to a person's core identity. (Not the same as your amnesia, but still the lack of core identity.)

Where you came from and what you've done is such a big part of who you are, and I'm unable to identify with that. My past seems so awful that I push it away. I think that's how my disorder manifests itself. I can't dig into the past and remember things because they're so painful.

I've forgotten things as a way of defending myself from those experiences. This keeps me from having that core identity and feeling like I am that person I see in the mirror.