Hi everybody, I'm new here and really need some sound advice. So my boyfriend and I both suffer from depression/anxiety. We've been together about 1 1/2 years, but we've been friends for much longer. We're in our early 20s. I've been in therapy on and off for about 5 years and have learned some great coping skills, and at this point I feel that I manage my depression and anxiety very well. I still have my really bad days, but they are few and far between. Two months ago my boyfriend's depression recently got really, really bad. We both handle our depression very differently, which is to say he doesn't really handle his at all. He completely withdraws. Ignores me, avoids me, doesn't even want to be around me. It's never been this bad before. We're both pretty independent people, we have our own lives, etc. He always says he needs space, and most of the time he doesn't feel much affection for me, so needless to say we barley even hug or kiss anymore. He tells me he loves me but in a very obligatory way. I give him space whenever he asks for it because I do not want to smother him or make him uncomfortable in any way. I know that he's going through a very tough time, but I can't help feeling so lonely and rejected, which I feel horribly guilty about. He's extremely pessimistic about everything; we used to talk about future plans, our passions, everything. We were the best of friends. Now it seems like he is completely uninterested in everything I have to say; I feel like he dismisses or straight up ignores anything I try to talk to him about. It hurts, but I feel selfish for even admitting that because I know that he isn't doing it to hurt me, he can't help how he feels. I just want him to be happy but I think I'm only making this worse for him. We used to be so, so happy together. We've talked about him getting help for this, maybe seeing a therapist, and he finally said he would try. He went to one session so far and keeps saying it isn't going to help, that it's useless. I understand this hopelessness because I have been there many times. However, I've worked so hard to develop/maintain a positive attitude and any time I say anything optimistic, particularly in regards to my own life, he kind of invalidates it with his negativity. And anytime he actually feels affectionate, it feels like it's only about his needs; it feels selfish and it is really hurting my feelings. I don't know what to do. I don't know if anything I'm feeling is valid, or if I'm just being selfish thinking about how this is affecting me instead of thinking of him. I haven't brought it up to him for that reason. I don't know if I have a legitimate reason to be upset.

Thank you for any help offered.