Hi.... I am having a really hard time processing the fact that I terminated my therapy with a therapist.

To make a long story short, the last 2 months I came to the conclusion that what she was most interested in was my money. I tried to tell myself this wasn't true but there was a lot of evidence it was such as her saying "you know if you don't pay the bill soon there's not a lot of motivation for me in this..", trying to charge me outrageous cancellation fees, and coercing me into taking a dbt group therapy that was not covered by my insurance when I had told her over 10x I did not have the $200 cash per session for that. I felt she took advantage of the fact that I was weak and vulnerable to make money.

Nevertheless it is so hard for me to process this because I had a unique relationship with her.... she allowed me to call/text her and it became as though I talked to her almost everyday. When I was in the hospital 2x this year she was the only person that visited me. She cried once in a session saying that she really wanted me to have a good life and perhaps she liked me too much. I know she cared about me. But I became extremely reliant on her.
Anyways the whole thing makes me extremely sad and I am so ambivalent about it. Even though I texted her terminating therapy, I still think back on it and feel such a sense of loss. I felt she had replaced my mother and was one of the only people I could trust. I feel as though someone died. I know this sounds extreme, but I am so upset. Of course it is my own choice, I could go back but it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship....

I don't know what to think or do.... and I can't stop thinking about her (also I'm a girl so it's nothing romantic)