Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadix
Well, I don't think that women usually shame the guy directly to his face. Usually they will just silently judge him and then go gossip to their friends about how weird and creepy he is. I hear overhear stuff like that all the time. And aside from that, it's just in the way they look at the guy and talk to him.
And to be honest, part of it is also just me feeling ashamed myself. I sort of choose to believe I am somewhat good looking(wishful thinking maybe), but in reality I am not fully convinced of this and there are many things that make me doubt it. And I do have this feeling that if I unattractive then it is pathetic for me to approach nice looking women thinking they will be interested in me. It is like those really bad singers who go on American Idol to audition.
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Shadix, the second paragraph to your post sounds so much like my lovely friend, and tbh like me at different times in my life.
I think this is a confidence/esteem issue at heart.
Let's just say you did approach a woman and she rejected you and said something rude about you to her friends. Is this really the kind of woman you would want to be with?
All women are not the same, we don't all go for the same types of guys, just as well. I promise you there are women out there who even if they don't want to go out with a guy will handle the situation with dignity and kindness, and I also promise you there are many women out there who find shyness attractive in a man.
To be sure it takes trial and error and putting yourself out there a bit, it's a risk and that can feel scary if you are a little shy/socially awkward.
Can I ask do you have any female friends? Having women who are not interested in you 'in that way' but like you as a person to hang out with might be a good thing for you if you don't already have it. It would also be a safe way to learn a little bit more about women, getting to feel confident talking with them without that 'all or nothing' pressure hanging over you.