I have many reasons for not wanting to speak about this with anyone. The primary one is that I don't want to be treated any differently. Not like a victim, not like I'm sloppy seconds or contaminated. All I really want is normalcy.

There is so much going on in my life at the moment. Forget this. I have senior year, I'm learning to drive, college applications, keeping up grades, a new baby brother. There is too much happening. I want to put this behind me and get on with my life. Be a normal teenager. Be able to hug someone without fearing the worst.

I know this sounds crazy. But I don't want to put anyone in the same pain. I don't live for myself. I make myself happy by making others lives easier. I really don't know anything anymore.