Hi IDM,
You aren't stupid or............
The way I see it is that the depression and it's effects are more masking some of your true skills right now.........and coping with depression..........not easy, right??!!! Not easy at all!!
So forgetting the odd item, the odd plans, compared with........what you're coping with........!! Not that major, right?? I'd want you to be a bit more compassionate towards yourself
So with some things, you can maybe naturally expect to be forgetting under the circumstances, there can still be ways around those things e.g. making notes on a calendar, putting reminders on your phone, checking in with your wife more, having your wife understand the signs that you might not be taking things in, having your wife understand that you may need reminding of things at a later interval.............
But of course, maybe some of this is coming from side effects of medication as well, do you think?? So maybe check if changing times of medication could help??
Either way though, even if you have to be reminded of 5.....10........15........20 (!!).......things in a day, that does not make you useless
There's so much more about you than some faults in your memory, so much more!!!
Please don't use that as one of the benchmarks in judging your value.........regardless of memory, you are awesome!!!

Alison