It was tough to get through. I blocked mine out and then all of a sudden I started remembering it all. Then once it's turned on, it's hard to regulate it so that you can still function from day to day.

I got through it with the help of counselors. I was very fortunate that the first person I was seeing for other unrelated issues knew he couldn't handle this when it came up. He tried - even went to seminars on the weekend. But eventually he had to tell me that I needed someone else. It was so hard but I went to someone who I have been with for 16 years and she is wonderful.

The advantage of seeing someone is that they get to know you and your moods and your story. So alot of times I'll think I'm doing absolutely terrible and she'll remind me of how I went through that particular situation before and came out okay.

You are in the beginning of this where it is overwhelming and very difficult to control. Talking is good, posting is good. Knowing that YOU are very normal is a good thing. Sometimes you just need to hear it alot.

I read self help books, wrote alot, and did my best to try not to overanalyze anything. Sometimes I would slip into periods where I would dwell and that would only lead to self pity - for me anyway. It's good to look at this stuff to understand what happened, how it effected you and how you can change the effect it had on you. I guess that's the most important thing - don't dwell on this stuff just to feel how terrible it was and how unfair because that won't help you. Look at it and learn how to grown from it.

I learned that I actually was a pretty strong person on the inside even though I didn't show it or know it. I went through alot and still perservered. It may not have been gracefully all the time, but I did okay. I learned who not to be involved with, how to protect myself, and that I deserve good things in my life.

I'm not happy I was molested, but I can now say I am happy for what I learned because of it.

Hugs to you -

Tranquility