Hello. I want to say I've totally been where you are. Sometimes it's just meds and time and just hanging on. After I had a huge breakdown in 2013 I did not want to live for months and months. Only when I settled into the residential long term care place I'm in and made a friend and got connected with a staff member who did therapy with me for a long time did I start to get my life back. But I've also had a lot of set backs. I think it's just important that your therapist or psychiatrist or someone knows you're feeling this bad. Even if you don't agree or want to follow their suggestions they should know how bad you're feeling.