Hello everyone. Each one of us is here for a specific question or problem they are trying to resolve in their life.

I am here as I have had a 26 year relationship with a man that is a Vietnam Veteran. He seems okay on the surface as he was interfacing with his customers, but underneath he is a mess. He would come home with profanities and nothing but negative comments.

We do not live together, that in itself is another story. However, I feel so used over all these Years..

We met in the very end of 1987, he was in the process of a divorce (which should have alerted me, but I was dumb!) we dated and I fell totally and completely in love with this very charming man. He asked me to move in with him after about 6 mos. of dating. I agreed, sold everything, moved in with him and I did. Children were deplorable, unruly and respectful, but I put up with it.. I worked my many hours a day at my job and had to get off early as he ex-wife was leaving the kids off on the middle of the day and there was no one there to supervise them. My company converged with another and my position was sent to Northern CA.. I left and did not have a job. However, I had some savings was helping out with groceries, house payment (he objected to that), etc.

Short story, he was coming home later and later for dinners I had prepared.. One night I asked what was the matter as he laid on he sofa with one hand above his brow???? He said he wasn't happy... That totally blew me away! We were schedule to go to Las Vegas the next morning!! I was so devestated, I told him, "I don't stay where I am not wanted" an left it at that. I cried the entire night as my heart was torn and broken completely! I asked him "who she was", he said no one... LOL!!!.. THE NEXT MORNING AT APPROX. 4:00 AM HE SAID, COME ON, GET UP.. to go to Las Vegas???? What? Was this a joke that he had played on me? What a terrible thing to do... I got up, dressed, grabbed a couple pillow, cried all through our time in Las Vegas and home again. The next morning, Monday, I gathered everything I could that only belonged to me, stuffed them in my car and left I* went to my best friends as they told me to come there and they would help me.

I lost 26 pounds in two weeks as I could not eat a thing. This man called and tried to make me feel better. But it didn't

I found out he had found a VERY rich woman in Brentwood, Ca and was with her.

I felt so worthless as I didn't have the things she had and what he was so enamored with...! Country Clubs,etc. He kept seeing me the entire time he was seeing me for sex while he was with her. Sadly, this person died from Lymphoma after 6 years.

I have been through everything a person can go through and be supportive with a person. Yet, this is the issue I have now.

He shows no compassion to anyone or anything. He is negative, has no friends but one that comes to see him occasionally every two months.. One of his Vietnam buddies. No friends to speak of.. He has a wonderful property in Venice, Ca, but he has let the inside go terribly. His bathroom looks like a back woods outhouse, carpet that is 40 years old, smells terrible! He does not brush his teeth, bathe regularly and shakes his **** at me telling me he's horny.. What is this about?

I had to move about 1.5 years ago as my Landlord was giving me Slum Lord residence.. My Daughter had me put my application in for low income Senior residency and after 3 years I was accepted.. However, I now live in a residence that is 43 miles from the man I have been so in love with.

There are so many things that he has no helped or done for me and yet I have always been there for his needs. Now he is acting like a small child as I do not want to visit him for a week-end or 5 days... take care of him, do chores, clean his home, etc. This man has money and his own company of which I have done work for him... He will pay me for book work I have done for him in a check that states Administrative on it as my Xmas gift!

He has done nothing for me as a person. He has only done things for his Son that now works for him.. Yet, he was to retire and we were to travel and do things.. His Son is an Alcoholic/drug user and this man keeps working to keep his Son working... Where does that leave us!!!!

I feel so abandoned, hurt. used and heart broken as my life has passed and is passing me by with no happiness in sight except for my children of very capable, intelligent lives and futures.

I just feel so wasted and so so used...!