I don't know what to suggest as I go through the very same thing. I have been divorced for about 17 years and haven't seen my ex-husband since then. I have been happily married to my now husband for almost 12 years. Yet I still experience dreams of my ex. They are usually abusive and traumatizing. And I'm often fighting to get to my now husband. It is horrible and I wish to high heavens it would stop. I don't even think about him anymore. Yet he invades my most sacred time.