(((((((((((enigmatic)))))))). I waited 26 years to finally seek the help I so desperately needed. You sound so much like me when you say you just want a normal life and to make others happy. You know, you can have that because I do. However, I can't begin to tell you the healing I have gained from the therapy I have been in for 2 years. Nobody else in my life knows about my childhood, not even my husband of 22 years. It has been a very difficult journey, trying to talk about things I have hidden away all these years. It is certainly not a sign of weakness to seek help, in fact it is a sign of strength....being able to reach out to help yourself before things escalate to "unbearable". Please, please, talk to somebody. Don't leave it as long as I did, it will eat away at you and show itself in other ways, like anxiety, depression etc. If not now, in the future. You're so young, and have your whole life ahead of you. I really feel for you, and understand. Hang in there.....and talk to somebody....please!