I've been with my wife since January 2010, but we've only been married since November 2013. We've known for most of our relationship that she's bipolar, but the past year has been especially tough. She was recently taken off lithium and put on a regimen of Seraquil and Lamictil, and for the most part it's mellowed her out a bit. However, each time she does have a major episode--there have been about 3-4 big ones this year--they seem to be getting worse. She tells me she hates me and calls me names, and often she breaks things (the most recent was all of our wedding photos). In those instances, I don't even recognize her; it's like she's possessed, and it really scares me.

I want to know what I can do in those moments, when her rage turns to violence. When she is feeling well, my wife is the sweetest, kindest, warmest person you will ever meet. And I know I don't help when she's ill; I get mad at the things she says and I argue back, and it just leads to disaster. But I don't want to lose her; I want to do everything I can for her. Sometimes I just can't tell where she leaves off and the illness begins. What should I do?