I had a great childhood and I was always happy. First born and it was always all about me growing up. My best friend died when I was 8. This affected me as it was something I never really got over. I went to private school and then switched to public in 5th grade. I think this may have also led to my diagnosis. Anyways, I had a lot of friends, very athletic and had everything going for me. Summer of 7th grade I had my first manic episode. It all started when we took a family vacation to the shore. I couldn't sleep, and I started talking about all sorts of things that weren't normal. They didn't know what was wrong with me as it all happened so fast, they thought I took acid.

At 13 I ended up in a hospital and I was drugged to the point where i couldn't even function. I had no idea what was going on.. I was there for 3 weeks.

From 13-18 I was pretty stable and only needed 250mg of depakote. I had a bad breakup senior year and started smoking weed, drinking and doing pills. Ended up in the psych ward senior year for being manic. Went to senior week manic, doing any type of drug I saw, and lastd about 22 hours until I got in trouble by the cops for having a fake i.d.

Things seemed to get worse the older i got.. Left college went back home.. Smoking weed everyday ended up getting a d.u.i. At 20. Probabtion. Sober for 9 months, did well in school, ended up getting my associate degree cus I couldn't finish due to another mania, after stopping my meds. Was off meds for 5 months until I relapsed.

Another manic episode about 9 months later from a gambling binge and getting too high from pot. I kept smoking and it would be all good, but it would end up leading to another manic episode. Went back to school last year, too much stress dropped out for the third time ended up being hospitalized for a month. Got out met some crazy girl in the psych ward, made me even more crazy, ended up going back for 3 weeks.

24 now, been stable for about 10 months. I still love weed, but don't think it mixes well with meds havnt smoked in 4 months and don't plan on smoking any time soon as I found out it only makes this disease worse. Now I'm on disability and havnt worked in almost a year. Have to stay on disability for another year until I could get off.

I won't except the fact that i need to take pills for the rest of my life. I feel like they can actually make you worse and I believe there's alternatives.
I believe my manias have had spiritual meaning and feel like they could be some sort of kunahlini, spiritual awakening experience, but these pill pushers in Western Society don't think anything about that.
I've have been extremely delusional on occasions thinking I was God, communicate with nature and animals. Television and music talking about me. Traveling different dimensions, worlds, thought I was an alien.. Had visions, hallucinations while looking at people for too long.

What I have learned is that sleep is the most important thing for me, drugs and alcohol only worsen everything. And stay away from stress as much as possible.

My depressions haven't been bad, luckily. Just oversleeping and eating too much, being pessimstic, losing faith. No suicidal thoughts. I try to stay positive and will never give up hope. Don't plan on heading back to the psych ward ever again.

Lots of stuff I left out, but that's basically my brief story. Interested in hearing everyone else's.