I'm not totally depressed but I am flat. It's like my mood stabilizers are doing too much of a good job and I feel very little joy. Yet I also don't feel the rage and aggitation. I rarely feel like socializing. I just seem to be very boring. I have thoughts of stopping the meds to see if I improve. Or maybe pdoc can add an anti depressant- I have always done well on them.

I am so sick of my job. I wait tables. I registered for grad school to get my teaching certificate and am supposed to start in 2 weeks but I don't want to do that either. I know this issue probably has nothing to do with bp but it is what I mainly think about. I just don't want to do anything.

I haven't been on this site in a long time and it kind of makes me nervous I am writing on it again bc I usually only visit when things aren't the best. Anyway, just needed to write- should probably journal again so I can keep track of my feelings.