Quote:
Originally Posted by Leah123
I think one difference in the relief I've gotten was by not following that impulse to space things out, to push away, to back off from that intense and uncomfortable and vulnerable feeling work, but to follow the impulses toward closeness and connection and nurturing and honor them. It was hard, but it helped so much.
I'd be curious to know what things you're wanting that you think a T won't provide, maybe there's some insight there into how to ease your pain too.
P.S. It helped me to integrate the therapy into my view of my "regular life" not to isolate it. My therapist has a role in my real life, and part of my real life is that connection and support and working through my issues. I do believe that not compartmentalizing it has had a positive impact as well.
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My T. has said I'm the queen of boxing my feelings....
All year I fought feeling close to her but am finally ok with it. I can talk about feeling close to her and not feel it's wrong anymore.
I wrote in my journal that I want someone to check in on me, hug me, tell me they love me and everything will be ok. Be affectionate with me. I guess everything you envision a mom being without the time restrictions. My T. hugs me and has told me I'll be ok. She is also reassuring in other ways. But, she doesn't text or email. However, I know if something major happened, I could text or call her and she would make time for me.
I know some T's allow endless contact, etc. but she doesn't and has her reasons. I've just now gotten to the point of telling her I wish I had a T. who gave me more. She mentioned boundaries but then I switched the subject like I do when I get nervous. So, I need to revisit it with her.
I don't necessarily want a new T. so I guess I need to just go through all of this. She has agreed that the more I talk about it and take in what she can give me, the less the pain will be. I guess I'm just not done yet.