I keep thinking about how these forums are kind of like group therapy. Every discussion has an audience, anyone can jump in whenever they want or start a new topic, we all react and learn from one another, etc. I notice that I have emotional reactions to other people, that some topics or threads make me angry, etc. I'm very aware of how I feel. I also feel heard when I try to express myself. And all that's very similar to group therapy (minus the therapist leader's presence). We even manage to keep it pretty civil.

But obviously there are big differences: the cushion of anonymity and the virtually unlimited allowance of time to respond. That latter is what enables me to talk on here and feel like I'm being myself. The lack of that is what makes me so unsuccessful in group (I usually completely clam up or say things that I don't mean, etc. because I haven't had time to figure it out for myself).

Oh and one more thing: On here, you can walk away from a thread that upsets you and just stop responding to it. In group, you'll be asked how you feel. And the answer "forget it & move on to something else" doesn't really go very far. So there's a real inability to escape uncomfortable situations. I guess that's why I have such a hard time in group. I even find that I'm trying not to let my facial expressions show any of my emotional reaction since, in general, I don't want to be asked how I feel. (I guess that's me trying to cover for lacking the faceless anonymity we have online.)

And no PMing in real-life group therapy. I hate that you can't contact someone off to the side and figure out how they feel about everything. That'd be cheating in real group.

So those are just some things I'm thinking about right now. I'm supposed to go to group therapy tonight. No ideas whether I'll manage to really talk or not (I never know for sure in advance how I'm going to react though staying silent is a good guess). It's particularly annoying that I'm losing my voice today due to catching a cold.

Sidony