T starts her summber break Aug 6 for 6weeks. This is the 3rd summer break I've been with her.

The first yr I said I would just erase her from my mind.

The second yr I said I would not erase her from my mind, and left it that, unable to know what to do.

This yr I've got angry at her and told her that I want to control her and get her to give into me and not take a break.

Of course the intellectual side to me knows even if she did this, it wouldnt work because I'd loose trust and respect for her.

So all I could do was talk about my agony, my not believing she is bothered about my pain, not believing she understands it.

Then she said "like your mother never saw your pain?"

I then asked her if I am spoilt because I wont accept her taking a break and want what I want?

T said "no, that my protesting and talking about my anger at her taking this break is good, and that I feel I dont have to just accept it like I did with my mother because I knew protesting was pointless because she never cared or knew what my pain was like, so in reality protesting at T means I know I am getting heard and understood by her or I'd give up"

In my head I was expecting Therapy to give me everything I thought I wanted, now I know it gives me what I need, the ability to feel my feelings good and bad, happy and sad and be ok with them.

That is a powerful gift!