The process of acknowledging unmet needs, and realizing T isn't going to give them to you, has been the most painful part of therapy for me.

In a round-about way, I confessed my maternal feelings towards T. She never fails to insert into one of our sessions how she's not my mom, we aren't family, we aren't friends… she throws in a cute story about her charming kids, etc. It feels so punishing, but the truth hurts and she wants me living on earth. Shame that she’s spent more than a year trying to get me to trust her using the whole mothering approach and voice. Double shame that I’ve been working on being more open, and the moment I am, she crushes me with rejection. But whatever. I’m currently going to therapy twice a month per my own request because the whole thing is too darn painful. I don’t know why I’m doing this at all anymore – all I can see when I look at her now is disappointment, frustration and shame.

I wish I could give some advice, but all I can say is, you’re not alone.