I thought cycles of depression was just how life is supposed to be. I had a speech impediment and moved at the wrong time so my school life was nothing but a bullied hell.
I first contemplated jumping off a bridge at age 10. The social services told my mom to get me help, but she didn't want me to be outcast as crazy.
I struggled with depression all through my teens and early twenties. A good marriage and 3 kids kept me busy, but all the while the depressions were circling.
Now in my 40's I finally sought help for the depression as it was getting worse each time it came. After a few rounds of ADs. I sought therapy. Right away the T said it sounds like bipolar. I said no way I don't have mania, he then explained the different types and signs. After researching it I said you could be right.
The p doc said he had "no doubt", he dx'd bipolar 1, which i am still trying to figure out.
I am now to the stage where I wonder if it is bipolar or not, but as the meds do keep me from wanting to jump. I will stick with them.