I'm primarily vegan, and when I'm not in a depression I can manage to prepare healthy meals. I find it takes a lot of work and time to prepare healthy fresh foods. I have to decide what to get, go to the grocery store and get it, and then there's all of that prep. I never feel like I get enough protein, and when I'm in my routine, I make sure I have a shake every day for breakfast.

When I am depressed I start disliking food. I find there's absolutely nothing I want to eat. I also find it overwhelming to go to the grocery store and I end up sending my husband out to grab quick things.

Then I usually end up living on junk food and it's a Catch-22, because I feel too depressed to make healthy food, and I'm eating junk so I feel more depressed.

Sometimes in a depression I'll fixate on one food and that's the only thing I want to eat for weeks at a time. I know this is terrible but I've gone through phases where I've had chips and dip for breakfast lunch and supper for weeks back when I ate dairy.

So I go from one extreme to the other. I go from eating a vegan diet with mostly fresh vegetables and very few preservatives to living on absolute garbage. As soon as I start to come out of my depression I start to make healthy food again.

I know I need to eat better and it would help me get out of this depression but I just can't go to the grocery store right now. The other day I almost cried because I became overwhelmed at the idea of having a bath. It just seemed like so much work to wash and condition my hair and then get out and get dressed and brush my hair.

And you'd think that when I hate all food I wouldn't eat it, but I do feel this weird gnawing hunger all the time when I'm depressed so I end up stuffing myself full of junk food that I don't want and don't enjoy.

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