Oh, yes! I remember my #1 fantasy as a child was that my dad would come home from work one day and tell me that my real mom was some amazing, wonderful woman living on the opposite side of the world, and that we were going to pack up and go live with her immediately.

I fantasized about having a kind, caring, nurturing, loving mother well into my adult years. It was like I had a fantasy mom living in my head -- I could see her, smell her, feel her touch when I needed to be comforted. But then, about a year ago, I realized this mom I would dream of was just not ever going to happen in real life. I then decided to let the "fantasy mom" part within me simply die. I basically killed my fantasy mom. I mourned her hard for several days, and then the pain started to ease. It was strange and almost hard to comprehend because here I was feeling something so sorrowful and real over something that did not ever really exist. But it's done. I do not have the mom I had always dreamed of having, and never will and I am accepting of that. There is no more pain over this. My T now is an older woman and she shows me warmth, kindness, compassion. We have even exchanged "I love you's." She has given me more than my real mother has ever given me, HOWEVER, I do not think of my T as my mother in any way, shape or form. Nor do I wish her to be. She's just a wonderful, loving, human being I have been blessed with having come into my life.

So I do know all too well the intense pain that goes along with the mom desires. I hope you can find relief from your situation. It can be done!