I discovered I had been diagnosed with SPD the hard way.

After having a breakdown 2 years ago i lost my job and nearly my life and ever since then i have been pushed from pillar to post 'going through the system' that is the delightful NHS. They haven't a clue what to do with my and i have been left with no support on waiting lists for up to 9 months at a time.

I had to ask my GP for a letter to send to my university to get Disabled Students help and i was expecting the letter to just cover the fact that i'm on medications and the side effects make me struggle to work etc and that i have been diagnosed with ME. Instead, i discover from the letter that i have been diagnosed with SPD. I don't know which psych I saw diagnosed me though i could have a good guess. I'm over the stage of being absolutely furious at finding out this way and I am over the denial stage where i decided they must be wrong.

I found a good website that lists symptoms called 'out of the fog' and actually.. i match up to nearly all the 'symptoms' and suddenly a whole lot makes sense to me. Why i feel emotionally detached from everyone and everything, why i am so dependant on having adult figures in my life and yet avoid relationships with anybody. It even explains my focus on things that confirms what i believe and why its so easy to ignore everything else, the depression and the dissociation and even the utterly soul destroying emptiness that i feel.

I know i was angry and in denial at first but now i feel utter relief at having the diagnosis as it means i'm not just an emotionally cold and heartless person, there is a reason i am the way i am and i cant help it. I hate that the Mental Health Teams in the UK don't believe in telling people what their diagnosis is for fear of 'making them feel worse', i think its our right to know what they think is wrong with us!