I hope you will find comfort in these thoughts: (1) you ache because you have known what love is. Some people never open their hearts enough to experience this. The nature of love is to be vulnerable; it is ONLY those we care about most who can hurt us the most. (2) There is an old saying about love meaning that you care enough to set free the one you love (and if it is truly yours, it will come back to you.) You have had the courage to set your love free. It doesn't feel good now, but hopefully someday you will recognize that this is a mature, selfless kind of love and be proud of yourself.

It's okay if you go through your whole life loving this man -- so long as you don't DO manipulative things to interfere with his marriage and his love for another. The whole "tragic romance" kind of nobility.

When I was a young woman, I and a women who has been my friend for 30 years, worked for a female newspaper editor. My friend was hopelessly in love with a handsome Greek shipping heir, a playboy who loved her and left her. She was marrying another, and confessed to our boss that she still had feelings for the shipping heir. Our editor -- who was in her 60s -- had raised a bunch of kids, had grandkids, had buried her hub after decades together -- said there was such a man in her life, too. The Hopeless Love. The One You Never Forget. My mom -- whose in her 80s -- recently felt called upon to make such a confessional to me about a man she'd really loved in her youth, who wasn't my dad. Why I'll never know. Go figure. And of course, there's the Julia Roberts' film, My Best Friend. Perhaps time for a trip to Blockbuster and some chocolate.

Eventually, I came to have my Grand Love. And love him still after 30 years, though he's told me in no uncertain terms not to contact him in any way. Like I was a stalker or something.

Point being, again -- It's OKAY to love this man madly forever. AND, when you are ready, it's okay to move on and have a good life with someone else.

This can't relieve your pain, Angela, but lots of other women have been there through the ages.

<font color="purple">((((((((Angela)))))))))</font>