If your husband is hurt and bitter, then the relationship may be beyond repair, and it may be best to leave the option of divorce on the table. Your husband likely felt cheated on all those times, and also like you were/are just keeping him around between "flings" but don't really love him. Even if you were unable to control your behavior, you must remember that your husband's emotions are just as real and valid as yours, and again, if he feels very hurt, angry, bitter and/or if his trust is broken, then the relationship might not be salvageable. Might be worth discussing with a good therapist just in case you have to make a tough decision in the future. Staying in a relationship where ridicule, mistrust, passive-aggression, etc run rampant is very toxic to one's mental and emotional health.