Greetings,

My father passed away last Friday (US time) in Asia. He had been
fighting against lung cancer for a year and his heart just stopped
beating...

It came as a shock, I had to take Friday off to calm down. It's hard
as my family are all in Asia and I am grieving in Dallas. It helps
to talk to the chaplain provided by my employer.

As I have the history of depression, I attend Recovery inc (a self-
help support for mental health) for support since May this year. I
agreed to assist this member a week before my death to take care of
his dog and cat whie he traveled out of town. Then the news of my
father's came and I informed this individual of my father's passing
away. After expressing his sorry, he and his wife inquired if I
would still care for the animal at his house. I guess I was not
really thinking, or was in shock, I said I would.

They left me instructions for the chores. I was frustrated on Friday
when I showed up as they expected me to use my cell phone for all
phone communications. [I only did them a favor, this is not a paid
position, I use Tracfone, prepaid services, only for urgent use of
the phone. ] I spend three nights (Friday, Saturday, Sunday) and I
felt so disoriented staying in an old big house, did not know the
neighborhood, mourning about the loss of father...

I finally called the daughter (who is in town) of this pet owner on
Saturday to inform her I need to leave early to fly to Asia, guess
what, she did not call me back until 24 hours later.

I also called the owner on Sunday, but sensed he was in a rush....I
did not get to finish what I meat to say. Finally I just had
enough, I felt I could not beathe, I had to leave that place, I felt
so dumb, what was I thinking to take care of a cat and a dog in a
unfamiliar neighborhood? How am I grieving? I need the time and
space, I only one week to get ready for the funeral.........

I finally broke down and called another member of Recovery,
fortunately he got me out of that arrangment. I am finally able to
breathe though it hurts as I am experiencing tightness in the chest..

Why was I put others' needs before my need? Why other people would
take advantage of me? For sure I will never ever speak to that pet
owner again, wasn't he supposed to say," sorry about your loss, is
there anything we can do" instead of " sorry to hear that, are you
still going to take care of the dog and cat?"

Thanks for listening.

JJ