Hi John. You've described your experience very well. It sounds pretty severe.

A psychiatrist can't force you to take medication if you don't want to. Having said that, as someone who spent my first episode of depression unmedicated (18 months) and then had a very fast recovery when I started taking an antidepressant, I would encourage you to listen to what the psychiatrist has to say.

You might want to tell him at the beginning of your appointment about your fears about taking psychiatric medications.

Even if what you're experiencing is an adjustment disorder, the symptoms (the depersonalization, the severity of your symptoms) sound pretty bad.

You might ask the psychiatrist to talk to you about what having a serious episode of depression that lasts for a long time is believed to do to your brain if it is treated with medication.

I think that it's great that you're seeing a psychotherapist. That is a very good tool to help you recover.

Anything else that makes you feel good or is good for your overall health, like going for walks or other exercise, things that make you laugh, eating regular meals of nutritious food, and trying to sleep regular hours can be helpful in your recovery, too.

I'm glad that you found this forum. People here are generally very supportive. It gives you a safe place to talk about what's going on with you and about your fears and concerns.

I hope that your appointment with the psychiatrist goes well. It's good to be honest with him. If after hearing what he has to say, you don't think you can bring yourself to take any medication, you can tell him that. Or you may feel like you might possibly take the medication but aren't sure.

His job is to diagnose you and give you his best advice, but you get to decide whether or not you want to do that.