im having a really hard time right now trying to figure out which side of the fine line my therapy is falling on when it comes to being 'good enough'. there are so many things my therapist does right and just the fact that ive continued to go to them is astounding. they seem to understand me. they do not label me with right or wrong diagnoses. they are consistent and available. they are not pushy. however there are also things i just do not understand about them and feel they don't get or do well. for example. in the past they had known i was having suicidal thoughts but never asked me about them. i dont know if they assume i won't actually do anything so it's not important enough to talk about, if they don't want to talk about it, if they don't want to make me uncomfortable, or what. they have never offered to give me terms or meanings of symptoms/conditions, i have found out on my own about many things. they dont ask me about SI, ever. they will let me sit in prolonged silence when i feel lost, unable to find words, scared or whatever. i know that they sort of keep a distance because thats how i want it. i am phobic of needing anything or depending on them much at all. but aren't there are just certain things that make sense in themselves that would come from them as a counselor i? 'm not able to initiate or bring stuff up on my own. they know that. so it seems like i'm often left floundering and without much direction. maybe they're a little too gung ho on forcing, what is it, where they put me in the place of having to bring things up, say what i need, etc. but basic psycho education about me and my issues? asking somebody when you know they've been more depressed than usual and thinking of suicide? what i have is very hard to find a counselor for even in major cities, let alone in nowheresville here, so even when i think maybe i'll find someone else, i know i won't. and im terrified that it would just be worse somewhere else, and it probably would. i need but i can't need. sometimes, like now, i just get to a place where i think maybe i should just give up.