thanks. i know you're right but i can't. i guess thats what im saying is when it is impossible for me to bring something up, it would be nice if they helped me get started. so maybe we're at a stand off/still. i might be able to bring up why they don't tell me things...actually i've just expressed frustration before that ive had to find some things out on my own because THEY didn't tell me. but to bring up suicidal stuff or SI? i'll think on how i might be able to queue things. but i don't think very fluidly while in T. i tend to have 'ant under a magnifying glass' syndrome. maybe that needs a dsm code.