Told T yesterday that something just wasn't right...I felt off balance. Not is a depression sense. I had no idea what was wrong but something wasn't right. After a night of no sleep I realized I feel like I am losing multiple very important people to me. Found out over the weekend my step dad needs to go into surgery in a couple of weeks. It is minor surgery but it has to be done. He will be 80 this month and has multiple medical issues (blood pressure, heart, etc.). The surgery is risky..fear losing him. Also T has been having some medical issues and very recently she thought she was going to have to retire because of it. However, right now things are starting to look up for her however, I am very worried about losing her her along with step dad. Also realized the anniversary of my mothers death will be in less than a month. I can't talk to T about it as I know she will say I don't need to worry about here and that if anything changes as far as her working I will be the first person she tells. Is it really worth all the pain??????????/

I can't deal with losing all these people. from experience when a family member dies, gets a divorce, etc...I lose a lot more people than the one involved...