The only way I've ever been able to orgasm is through masturbation, whether it's with my partner next to me or not. Whenever he goes down on me, fingers me, etc., I get to a point where I seem to hit a "wall" and it feels like I panic. It's like it goes from enjoyable to painful or at least not enjoyable anymore when I hit this "wall" and I have to finish myself off in order to feel safe I guess.

I've had a lot of negative sexual experiences. None of them really seem bad enough to create this level of response. But either way, I don't know how to get over this. But I guess I should just feel lucky that I can orgasm at all in the presence of someone else and not get selfish in wanting to also orgasm from actual sex (oral/handjobs/etc.).