I'm more or less a schizoid, but I occasionally get infatuated with my crushes. After a while though, my infatuation fades away, but I am unable to establish a long-lasting romantic relationship. Having infatuations/crushes isn't the same as having a romantic relationship. Overall, I got used to being a loner, but all I really wanted was to have friends. The moment I feel rejection or betrayal just around the corner, I might as well close my heart and shut out my emotions. At least I don't have to worry about others anymore.